Contacting, touching, placing, correlating with the surface through the dimension of the body and the cave, through direct bodily immersion, a line arose - which the touch remembered.
The body would be able to recall the visual choreography only through some kind of endless desire to return to the point where the first touch was.
The body tends to retain the first touch. Nina asked me how long I had been in the movement of dark, how long I was keeping for and losing touch with the place, whether that very meeting arose through the darkness and whether I was still looking for that safe nook for the body - a deepening in silence. The silence that the wave covered. My body spent 42 minutes there, 42 minutes in absolute darkness. In a nook that had not yet become an interior for the body but was already drawing out its spatial limitations, where adaptation became impossible.
Somewhere between these 42 minutes, I wanted to interrupt my already disconnected touch with this place. Through the touch of stone through stone, it was important for me to distance my tactile connection with the cave, the recesses did not take my body at all. The darkness into which I was immersing had that very oppressive state when the body painfully resists. When the body is roving.
Similar to the experience during the blowing snow where the expanse of white blocked the body inside. The darkness opened the space of recesses wider, there was an infinity to which it was impossible to return. The body resisted, the surface did not obey the body.
The stone falls into line with the body.
Touching through the darkness with yourself, an inseparable connection arises to return to a place that is tactilely attractive, more reliable, and more tolerant.
Taking a small stone in my hands and slowly moving away from the familiar touch, a sound was born. The one that in the darkness provided such an enveloping reality there inside, in that very darkness. I wanted to stay in/with this sound at the same time as the desire to destroy it with something more foreign, noisy, and sharp. Strengthening the knock with the surface seemed to intensify the distance from the place.
Why did one have to touch and look for the coalescence, if one wanted to break it all the time? That coalescence was lost in the depths of these thundering layers of darkness. I was losing at a certain moment the border of my own body in the same movement through/inside that darkness. What was inside? Moving further and further away through the consonance of two stones, where the body turns out to be only an intermediary in these relationships. There is a stop there inside, having listened to it, the body can sense that there is only one safe scenario - not to leave this state. Leaving this sound through your own darkness, where the position of the body no longer has boundaries.